Philippe de Valois Crémant de Loire Brut NV

Miss the 1st Crémant? Fear not, we have you covered with another gem of a wine! Man, we love our jobs. Love. We tasted through (checks notes) EXACTLY 3,977 “under $30”, “non-Champagne” French sparkling wines (Crémants) since August 2022 and while this was nowhere near the priciest, it CRUSHED basically every other wine in the category and was EASILY the tippy-top best Loire bubbly. 70% chenin blanc, 20% chardonnay, and 10% cabernet franc…just PERFECT sipping material! WE LIVE for this kind of stuff – pure, delicious, fine, immensely satisfying bubbles you can drink with utter, unfettered abandon – all at a brain-cell melting deal with our price today. UNDER $20?

OK, who needs a glass...besides like, EVERYONE on Earth?! Delectably dry, creamy, crisp – loaded to the brim with flowers, fruits, zippy acidity, and crunchy, rocky minerality…oh, baby, let’s get poppin’!!

Super crisp and rockin’ out with this jasmine/wisteria/lemon zest aroma that just pulls you in, then this crunchy pear, sweet apple-y nom-nom bite, followed by equally zippy and creamy waves of toasted nuts and buttery warm croissants samurai sliced by the whip of fresh limes, crushed with river rocks, for a piquant, and world-cleansing finish!!! HUZZAH, this is good! I guess when you name a wine after one of the most idolized KINGS of France ever, who was the all-time biggest supporter and champion of Loire’s wine industry – you kind of HAVE to live up to the name, right? This does…and then some. There are not a lot of bubbles that give Champagne a run, but at this price, this one will CRUSH a lot of competitors at triple the price or more. One of the best French Champagne-like-bubblies-that-is-not-technically-Champagne we have EVER found! Which makes it a fitting wine for this...

THANK YOU! For over a decade, we’ve shared the best wines on the internet – with the best prices in the UNIVERSE, and we couldn’t have done it without you! But this, this most excellent Loire Cremant is our GOODBYE! We were purchased last week by A.F.D. – the world’s largest nut-dairy consortium – and, beginning tomorrow…ALL daily offers will be nut-based milks, cheeses, spreads, vegan shampoos soaps, and the like. Things will look different, sure, but we’ll aim to provide you with the same great deals, and a better, healthier, life-extending opportunity to share these delicious beverages and products from around the world with your friends, family, and yes…THE CHILDREN! Take THAT gut-based bacteria and inflammation! Anywho, in preparation for this revolutionary new vision, I've put my hair into a top-knot style man-bun, I purchased all-new, fair-trade natural spun, plant-based threadware clothing, and I even sent my wife to yoga training. I, for one...am deeply excited for this new, more holistic, and spiritually, mentally, and physically healing iteration of Last Bottle! So after this one – the last – sure to become a collectible bottle of Loire Cremant is gone…we’ll say hello to clear eyes, and full hearts…that simply CAN’T LOSE! 

** Oh, yeah… Happy April Fool’s Day, friends! **