Bored Russian Guy Steals Tank, Smashes Into Liquor Store For A Bottle of Red

A man rammed an armored personnel carrier into a shop window before climbing through the rubble to steal a bottle of wine in a northern Russian town on Wednesday morning, according to local media and video posted on social media. Yep — a Russian guy steals a tank for a bottle of red.

Witnesses caught on camera didn’t seem particularly fazed. “Basically some guy stole an armored vehicle... and went into a shop to top up his stocks in the morning,” one social media user said, filming the snow-covered scene from their window.

Of course they weren’t disturbed. This is straight-up normal in Russia. People see wild stuff every day. Just check the dashcam videos online — it’s a different level of chaos. When you live just south of the Arctic Circle and the daily high is negative infinity degrees, you need the cozy warmth of alcohol to survive.

The only problem? Snow, Siberian tigers, and frozen toes. Enter plan: make a mad dash to the military training facility next door. Maybe they left keys in one of the tanks. Luckily, they did. Boris — let’s assume that’s his name — hops in, drives through a forest, and makes his way into town. Only one Daewoo crushed on the way. Not bad. Zero tigers inside the tank, also a win.

Finally, Boris reaches his destination. No, not the library — the liquor store. And what does a GTA-level heist deserve? Not cheap vodka, but a fine bottle of full-bodied Crimean red. Just one bottle, because even in Russia, Boris is a reasonable fellow.

Source. Or just take a look at some of the dashcam videos out there and you'll see.